Why did the chicken cross the road?

Even when you read all sorts of books and interact with all sorts of scholars, some questions remain unanswered. And then there are some questions which get answered every single time you ask them. Of course, the answers depend on whom you are asking and sometimes, even on when you are asking! One such famous question is - why did the chicken cross the road? It certainly doesn't look like an issue over which wars might be fought, but beware! Appearances are deceptive. This harmless-looking question brings with it a treasure trove of interpretations and those certainly are worth fighting for. 

So here's a collection of what any dogma worth its penny has to say over the issue -  

• Hinduism : The chicken has crossed the road before. It will keep crossing the road again and again until it realises that the road and itself are not different, but one and the same.  
• Christianity : The chicken crossed the road for your sake, so that you don't have to cross the road. 
• Islam : Chicken crossed the road because it is the will of Allah. 
• Judaism : The chicken crossed the road because the land on the other side of the road was given to the chicken by the God as chicken is the Chosen Bird. In any case, it HAD to cross the road because everybody was persecuting it.
• Buddhism : Chicken's desire to cross the road is the cause of its crossing. 
• Jainism : Chicken crossed the road because it didn't want to kill the worms on this side of the road. 
• Sikhism : Chicken crossed the road because it wanted to serve AS the tandoori langar on the other side of the road. 
• Taoism : By crossing the road, the chicken followed The Path. 
• Confucianism : Confucius say, "Chicken always crosses the road." 
• Zen Buddhism : What is the taste of road if no one crosses it?
• Baha'i : All the chickens cross the same road the same way and for the same reason.
• Agnosticism : Can't say. Nobody can.
• Atheism : Chicken exists. Road exists. Crossing doesn't exist. 
• Creationism : Chicken couldn't have made the road. So God must have. Road couldn't have made chicken. So God must have. The chicken and the road both couldn't have made God. So God must BE. The chicken crossed the road because the other side was Texas.  
  
• Evolution : There were random chickens. There were random roads. But only those chickens that randomly crossed the roads survived.  
• Relativity : Road crossed the chicken.
• Quantum Mechanics : The chicken may have crossed what might have been a road. OR The observer caused the chicken to cross the road. 
• Communism : Road belongs to all. Chicken belongs to all. The people (or People's Party) decide what crosses what and when. 
• Socialism : The road belongs to the government. Government charges a toll for crossing the road. The toll booth was on the other side. So the chicken had to cross the road to pay the toll. 
• Capitalism : Chicken crossed the road in order to get a patent on crossing. Now the chicken charges the toll on crossing.  
• The Indian Way : The chicken tried to cross the road, but was killed by a truck. The truck driver was stopped and beaten to death by a mob. Nobody got arrested. Media created an uproar over the death of chicken. The government decided to erect a traffic signal at the crossing point. That was 5 years ago. The signal is yet to be erected.